She says: "It’s one of the first excuses I run across out in the world of people who don’t practice yoga. The conversation usually starts with someone asking what I do for a living. When I tell them I teach yoga, almost invariably the response is “I’m not flexible enough to do yoga.” I usually tell them it’s not about flexibility and that they should try it.
On the flip side: Many beginning yogis come to class because they are flexible be it from dance, gymnastics, or just a natural proclivity. And it’s no wonder. Western yoga’s focus on asana, the media’s representation of the practice, and even practitioners’ wow-worthy pose posts on social media sure do make it appear to be about flexibility—and oftentimes of to unbridled limitless extreme. But Patanjali never said yoga was about flexibility and he certainly didn’t define asana as limitless flexibility.
There Is No Flexibility Without Stability
In the Yoga Sutra, Patanjali calls asana a pairing of effort and ease, or effort and release (there are many translations). He’s trying to point out is that life is full of seemingly opposing experiences. Besides effort and ease, there is pleasure and pain, day and night, loss and gain, like and dislike, the list is endless.
Next, he mentions that when those seemingly opposing experiences are paired together in the moment in asana, the practitioner learns that they are actually one in the same. That is, both experiences are impermanent and both will pass.
For any experience to exist, though, there must be an opposite or contrast to it for our minds to hold on to. Think about that. There would be no black without white, no day without night. There wouldn’t be flexibility without contrasting stability.
There Is Such a Thing As Too Flexible
Limitless flexibility without balanced strength and stability ignores the need for the duality to exist. Just as the tighter, more stable yoga student must learn to become more flexible, the already-flexible student must work to increase strength and stability. Yoga teachers would never encourage a student to become so strong that they eliminated all range of motion in their joints. And likewise, I believe teachers must wisely teach students that there is a limit to beneficial flexibility.
Take a rubber band for example. A new one is stretchy and can extend a lot, but still strong enough to hold whatever it’s wrapped around. But the more you stretch and use a rubber band, the less strong it gets. Over time it’s stretched out so much that it’s rendered useless. Same goes for muscles. While most people could stand to lengthen their hamstrings and glutes, there is a limit to how far is wise. At a certain point, your muscles stop being strong enough to hold your skeleton in proper alignment. The result: injuries galore.
Yoga is not all about flexibility. It’s about about balancing it with stability. Can’t touch your toes? You can become the person with your face on your shins one day if you put the effort into it. But if you don’t maintain your strength, you end up leaning too far to one extreme without the contrast necessary in life for it to be an experience at all."
Broccoli Soup - the quickest soup recipe I've ever made
You know that I like my recipes quick and easy. Too many ingredients and I can't seem to keep track of them all and usually end up leaving a vital one out! Well, this recipe by Jamie Oliver wins the prize. And it tastes great. And it's really good for you.
Here's some nutritional information in case you need a reminder of just how good for you broccoli is. 400g of broccoli contains:
136 calories, 1.6g total fat, 6.8g sugar, 11.2g protein (that's 22% of your daily value based on a 2000 calorie per day diet). It has the following other daily values: 0% Cholesterol, 5% Sodium, 36% Potassium, Total Carbohydrate 9%, 41% dietary fibre, 49% Vitamin A, 594% (yes that's what it says - 594%!!!) Vitamin C, 15% Iron, 40% Vitamin B6, 21% Magnesium.
If you'd like to make this soup you will need the following ingredients:
• 1 garlic clove, chopped
• 2 celery stalks, roughly chopped
• 400g broccoli, roughly chopped
• 1 litre of vegetable stock
• handful of mint
• splash of olive oil
• ricotta, to serve
Heat a splash of olive oil in a pan, then add the garlic and roughly-chopped celery stalks for about 2–3 mins. Add the broccoli and stock. Continue cooking for another 5-6 mins, then blitz with a handful of mint in a food processor. Season and serve, topped with crumbled ricotta and mint leaves. Serves 2–3.
In class this week this I offered this quote about forgiveness by Marianne Williamson:
"Forgiveness isn't always easy. At times it seems more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness."
The Dalai Lama repeatedly advises that we do not think badly about others, but sometimes it can seem impossible not to if we have been hurt and feel we have been wronged. He also says that forgiveness isn't about condoning wrong doing, it is about letting go for your own inner peace and for a peaceful world in general.
In my inbox this morning was this email from Leo Babauta from zenhabits.net about ways to deal with difficult people... synchronicity I think.
7 Strategies for Dealing with Toxic People
By Leo Babauta
Are there people who constantly criticize you, tell you that you can’t do things, make you feel bad about yourself, even yell at you? These are toxic people. Dealing with them is never easy, but it’s such a difficult problem that it’s worth looking at some strategies you might consider.
I was reminded of this problem by a reader recently, who asked, “What if toxic people are my family? How do I shut them out? What if I can’t find the courage to rise above them?”
I have to confess, there aren’t any easy answers. I’ve used a number of strategies in my life, and I’ll share what I’ve tried:
1. Practice self-compassion when you’re feeling bad. This is always my first step these days, as I’ve learned how useful this method is. Think about it: if you’re feeling bad because of someone else’s behavior, you might show your anger or irritation in your actions and words, and that only makes that person more likely to be toxic. Your bad feelings are not only horrible for you, but for the situation. So try this when you notice you’re feeling bad from someone else’s actions/words: turn inward and notice your feelings, instead of avoiding them. What do they feel like in your body? After a minute, try creating a feeling of love towards yourself. Wish yourself happiness, and an end to your suffering. Wish yourself a life of joy and peacefulness. This won’t magically cure the pain, but it’s a good place to start.
2. Talk to other people. I’ve found that when I’m hurting, I often don’t want to admit it to other people, but then when I talk to someone about it, I inevitably feel better. So take the plunge and talk to someone. Share your feelings, ask for them to listen, maybe even give advice. The advice doesn’t matter so much as the connection and listening.
3. Practice empathy and compassion. Try practicing the same compassion method towards the person who frustrates you. In your heart, wish them happiness. See that they’re also going through difficulties, like you are, and that’s why they act that way. Wish for an end to their suffering. Wish them a life of joy and ease.
4. Talk to the toxic person. Once you start to feel more compassionate towards the other person, talk to them. Yes, they might not act in a compassionate and peaceful way towards you, but you can be the better person. You can see that they’re suffering in some way, and are acting inappropriately because of that suffering. Try connecting with them, sharing that you’re having a hard time, asking for their support. This might not always turn out well, but if you do it in a spirit of connection, they might be open to this discussion.
5. Model the behavior you want to see. Often I get mad at other people for getting mad at me, and then I’m doing the same thing they are, behaving badly because they behaved badly. Even if I feel it’s their fault, my behavior escalates the situation. So I try to show how to deal with frustration, try to be compassionate with them, try to show a positive way of dealing with things. And often that can have a great effect, even if it’s not immediate.
6. Find more positive friends. If all of this isn’t working, it helps to find other people who are more aligned with the way you want to live. People who are creative, entrepreneurial, self-sufficient, excited about things, positive, healthy, happy. Find them in your local running club, yoga or crossfit class, Toastmasters, volunteer organizations. Find them online in various positive communities. Take the plunge and reach out, develop relationships. Buy someone tea or coffee and start a friendship. One by one, nurture the relationships that have a positive influence in your life, and be a positive influence in theirs. I’ve done this in my life, and it’s made a huge difference.
7. Cut them out. It’s a harsh thing, but when family members aren’t supportive of me, if they’re constantly critical and angry … and none of the above works … I will just stop seeing them as much. I’ll do my own thing. See other friends. That’s harder to do, of course, when they live with you, but even then you can go out for a run, take a hike and see nature, meditate, create. Don’t let the thinking about toxic people be the thing you focus on all day — put your mind in more peaceful, creative, positive places.
Here's a short video of Oprah explaining her "ah-ha" moment on forgiveness:
Wishing you a peaceful week :-)
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