Yogic philosophy teaches us that when we wish things to be different than they are we create our own suffering. When we accept the things that we cannot change (ie. I can't do anything to change the weather so I might as well accept it and stop wasting my energy on wanting it to be sunny) we release ourselves from suffering.
As I mentioned in last week's post about Sun Salutations, all of life is a vinyasa - cycles of day and night (the Equinox is tomorrow), changing seasons, the inhale and the exhale of the breath - all rising and falling and circling around again. When we learn to tell the difference between the things we can change and the things we cannot change, our journey through this great adventure of life can be less of a struggle and more of a flow.
I'll use the sun once more to illustrate how the way we think about something (often conditioned thoughts that we don't even question) can influence the overview we have of our lives: we often hear people saying that the sun's trying to break through the clouds, that if it could only push through we'd have a sunny day. In reality, the sun's not doing anything at all except being the sun, same as always. Its the clouds that will move on and reveal it. Ever heard someone say that time is against them? They've immediately created a sense of urgency, tension and struggle. Time isn't against them. It's not personal. It's just time, same as always. There's the same amount of it for everyone but it's up to us how we choose to spend it.
With this in mind, I'm accepting this cloudy day. If the clouds do move on that will be lovely, but equally if they don't I'm ok with it.
"Peace of mind means letting go of all the things that block peacefulness—our worries, fears, resentments, hurt and anger. But what are we really letting go of? It’s not as if we can instantly relieve ourselves of our upset like a heavy burden dropped to the ground. Would it were so simple. Letting go is a process. It takes time, practice and patience.
Often what we are letting go of is our own resistance. We want things to be other than they are. We say to ourselves, “This shouldn’t be” and we work ourselves up with all the ways someone or something falls short of what we want, hope or expect. We hold on tightly to these inner reins: we repeatedly justify our position and we entrench ourselves in our own point of view. We make ourselves miserable.
Letting go means relinquishing our inner resistance and accepting what is actually happening. Acceptance does not mean giving in or condoning unfair, cruel or inappropriate behavior or circumstances. It means loosening the tight hold the situation has over us and accepting that life doesn’t always go the way we want it to. Perhaps there is significant truth to our inner turmoil: the people we turn to or rely upon have behaved badly or inappropriately in some way; or the circumstances of our situation are indeed challenging and unfair; or we ourselves have transgressed in an upsetting way; but that doesn’t change the fact that we are making ourselves miserable by wanting things to be different from the way they are in this moment.
Here’s the difference: letting go is releasing and opening; resisting is tightening and closing. Which state do you think is better for your health and wellbeing? So much of our suffering comes from wishing things were other than they are. When we let that go, we open ourselves to the flow of life as it is; we can now work from a place of openness and flow, rather than a place of restriction and closure. We become more at ease with the changes and complexities life brings us and we move a little closer to living day-to-day with a calm mind and a warm heart."
Yoga and meditation are wonderful ways to practice letting go. Savasana, our final relaxation after the yoga postures, offers the opportunity to lie down and surrender completely. It allows the body and mind to completely relax and become really quiet after the physical work of the class. When you practice yoga at home never skip Savasana - it is too valuable to miss. Even if your To Do list is waiting, spend at least 5 minutes resting before you get up and get on with your day.
Equally valuable is Legs Up the Wall pose, or Viparita Karani. Here's how to do it so that you can incorporate it into your home practice:
Here's why Viparita Karani is a great pose to practice regularly:
As the blood drains from the feet and down to the abdominal region there is relief for swollen ankles, varicose veins and tired legs. The body can completely relax and therefore the nervous system can move from the "flight, fight or freeze" mode that is far too common in our stressful lives, to the "rest and digest" mode that is a healthier state for us to be in. Whilst stress is necessary to alert us about impending danger (remember that heart-pumping, adrenaline rush when you almost miss a step on the stairs?) we tend to spend too much of our time in a hyper-alert and over-stimulated state due to the many distractions in our lives. When we relax the heart rate slows down, the blood pressure re-regulates itself, the glands regulate their hormones - adrenal gland produces less cortisol, pancreas releases less glucagon (a hormone which helps to control blood sugar levels), pituitary gland produces more growth hormone and pancreas produces more insulin (also helping to regulate blood sugar), and we can actually properly rest. Bliss.
Please note: most inversions are contra-indicated for beginners, people with neck and shoulder problems, blood pressure problems and for women who are menstruating. Viparita Karani is considered safe for beginners, helpful for regulating the blood pressure and, as the pelvis is not higher than the torso, the first two options shown here are suitable for those who are menstruating.
If you'd like to experience how meditation can help you accept the things you cannot change, click on the link below which will take you to a series of guided meditations. Scroll down to the one entitled "Let Go of the Need to Control", find a comfortable place to sit for 5 minutes and relax. Renowned author and wellbeing expert Deepak Chopra offers these meditations as part of the Chopra Centre's services.
Often what we are letting go of is our own resistance. We want things to be other than they are. We say to ourselves, “This shouldn’t be” and we work ourselves up with all the ways someone or something falls short of what we want, hope or expect. We hold on tightly to these inner reins: we repeatedly justify our position and we entrench ourselves in our own point of view. We make ourselves miserable.
Letting go means relinquishing our inner resistance and accepting what is actually happening. Acceptance does not mean giving in or condoning unfair, cruel or inappropriate behavior or circumstances. It means loosening the tight hold the situation has over us and accepting that life doesn’t always go the way we want it to. Perhaps there is significant truth to our inner turmoil: the people we turn to or rely upon have behaved badly or inappropriately in some way; or the circumstances of our situation are indeed challenging and unfair; or we ourselves have transgressed in an upsetting way; but that doesn’t change the fact that we are making ourselves miserable by wanting things to be different from the way they are in this moment.
Here’s the difference: letting go is releasing and opening; resisting is tightening and closing. Which state do you think is better for your health and wellbeing? So much of our suffering comes from wishing things were other than they are. When we let that go, we open ourselves to the flow of life as it is; we can now work from a place of openness and flow, rather than a place of restriction and closure. We become more at ease with the changes and complexities life brings us and we move a little closer to living day-to-day with a calm mind and a warm heart."
Yoga and meditation are wonderful ways to practice letting go. Savasana, our final relaxation after the yoga postures, offers the opportunity to lie down and surrender completely. It allows the body and mind to completely relax and become really quiet after the physical work of the class. When you practice yoga at home never skip Savasana - it is too valuable to miss. Even if your To Do list is waiting, spend at least 5 minutes resting before you get up and get on with your day.
Equally valuable is Legs Up the Wall pose, or Viparita Karani. Here's how to do it so that you can incorporate it into your home practice:
- Sit sideways against a wall with your hip and shoulder as close as you can get them.
- Take your hands to the floor behind you, lean backwards and bring your legs up the wall at the same time as you swivel round to face the wall and lower onto your elbows.
- Then lie down on your back. You may need to scooch in a little closer to the wall to get your buttocks closer in.
- Stretch the legs up the wall, feet and legs close together, making sure the whole body feels symmetrical.
- Draw the shoulderblades down your back so they feel flat on the floor - this helps the arm bones roll out so the shoulders relax, the top of the chest opens the neck feels free.
- You could choose to rest your hands on your abdomen (see picture 1) or move your arms away from your body with the inner elbow crease and palms face up (see picture 2).
- Close your eyes, breathe smoothly and relax for about 5 minutes.
- If you'd like a gentle supported backbend you could bend your knees, press your feet to the wall to lift your hips up away from the floor, and slide a bolster, pillow or stack of folded blankets under your pelvis to rest on. Then roll the shoulders back again to feel the chest lift (see picture 3).
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| Viparita Karani - picture 1 |
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| Picture 2 |
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| Picture 3 |
As the blood drains from the feet and down to the abdominal region there is relief for swollen ankles, varicose veins and tired legs. The body can completely relax and therefore the nervous system can move from the "flight, fight or freeze" mode that is far too common in our stressful lives, to the "rest and digest" mode that is a healthier state for us to be in. Whilst stress is necessary to alert us about impending danger (remember that heart-pumping, adrenaline rush when you almost miss a step on the stairs?) we tend to spend too much of our time in a hyper-alert and over-stimulated state due to the many distractions in our lives. When we relax the heart rate slows down, the blood pressure re-regulates itself, the glands regulate their hormones - adrenal gland produces less cortisol, pancreas releases less glucagon (a hormone which helps to control blood sugar levels), pituitary gland produces more growth hormone and pancreas produces more insulin (also helping to regulate blood sugar), and we can actually properly rest. Bliss.
Please note: most inversions are contra-indicated for beginners, people with neck and shoulder problems, blood pressure problems and for women who are menstruating. Viparita Karani is considered safe for beginners, helpful for regulating the blood pressure and, as the pelvis is not higher than the torso, the first two options shown here are suitable for those who are menstruating.
If you'd like to experience how meditation can help you accept the things you cannot change, click on the link below which will take you to a series of guided meditations. Scroll down to the one entitled "Let Go of the Need to Control", find a comfortable place to sit for 5 minutes and relax. Renowned author and wellbeing expert Deepak Chopra offers these meditations as part of the Chopra Centre's services.
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